


It Wasn't You Who Killed Me (So Stop Blaming Yourself)

by KittyWhiteCat



Series: It Wasn't You Who Killed Me (So Stop Blaming Yourself) [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Number Five | The Boy, Agender Number Five | The Boy, Asexual Luther Hargreeves, Asexual Number Five | The Boy, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Bisexual Diego Hargreeves, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Luther Hargreeves, Character Death, Dead Ben Hargreeves, Demiboy Diego Hargreeves, Demigirl Allison Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves Lost an Eye, Dysfunctional Family, Genderfluid Klaus Hargreeves, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Good Sibling Ben Hargreeves, Good Sibling Klaus Hargreeves, Good Sibling Luther Hargreeves, Hurt Luther Hargreeves, Love Potion/Spell, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Luther Hargreeves-centric, Mute Allison Hargreeves, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Number Five | The Boy and Luther Hargreeves are Twins, Other, POV Ben Hargreeves, POV Luther Hargreeves, Past Rape/Non-con, Polysexual Ben Hargreeves, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Trans Luther Hargreeves, Trans Vanya Hargreeves, Transphobia, Wheelchair-bound Vanya Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26420458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyWhiteCat/pseuds/KittyWhiteCat
Summary: "But if you were in trouble, there's nothing Luther wouldn't do to save your scrawny, little junkie arse."How does he know that?Maybe only Ben can answer that. He's the one who made the claim, after all.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Grace Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves
Series: It Wasn't You Who Killed Me (So Stop Blaming Yourself) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926334
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (If you possess half a brain, which I know that you would have both possession of your brains, I don't own Umbrella Academy, it belongs to Gerard Way [although I own the theories/headcanon behind this fic]. Also this would be different than the comics/TV series, but it's a fanfic, I can do whatever I want with it.)
> 
> Warning! This fanfic contains:  
> Curse words  
> Transphobia  
> Blood  
> Death  
> Self-harm  
> Suicide attempt  
> Past incest

" _What are they talking about?_ "

Luther, Klaus, and Ben are observing a gun factory in a warehouse, hidden behind several boxes. Luther, being born with increased senses along with super strength and super durability, is being sent to overhear meetings and gather. Klaus, being born with the ability to commune with the dead, is being sent to gather information from the victims of these people. Ben, being born with the ability to open a portal to another dimension and let out a killing monster, is being sent to defend himself and the two should there be a need to.

" _The next buyer is a group named RHD,_ " Luther answered in perfect Ancient Greek (all the kids are taught to use Ancient Greek in missions). His head leaned closer, hearing all in effect. " _They'll make the shipments next week_."

" _Séance, any ghosts here?_ "

Klaus blinks a few times, focusing on clearing his mind to allow him to see any ghosts to no avail. Ben turned his head to see Klaus, observing how sluggish and how out-of-it he looks, confirming Ben's suspicions. Damn it, Klaus!

" _You're drunk_ ," Luther hissed. Klaus looked up to see his face but says nothing. " _What the hell are you thinking, Séance? You shouldn't join us! You should've stayed home!_ "

" _Tell that to dear ol' dad, Spaceboy_ ," Klaus retorted. " _I tried, he didn't believe me!_ "

" _Go home, Séance_ ," Luther ordered. " _You'll be unable to defend yourself, should the need arise_."

" _Dad will **surely** let me stay home_." Klaus rolled their eyes.

" _Then hide in the back of Griddy's and we'll get you afterwards!_ " Ben interrupted. " _We'll lie to protect your stupid drunk arse_."

" _Oh, why didn't I think of that?_ " Klaus rolled their eyes. " _This place and Griddy's are two opposing directions,_ Monster."

"Arse."

"FUCK YOU!"

The group turned their heads around, looking for the source of the noise. Luther immediately closed Klaus' mouth, using unnecessary force without even noticing, causing Klaus to let out protesting noises.

"Who's there?" The person in a brown shirt, the leader Nicky, stands with an AR-15 strapped to her back, standing straight. "Show yourself!"

Neither of them did, only a fool would. Ben closed his eyes, thinking about the next move. He could unleash the beast and kill them all, but does he really have to? Killing is not exactly his forté, he wouldn't even be here if Reginald hadn't forced him. It's just a simple task! All they need to do is just overhear, collect information, and go!

Damn you, Klaus!

Ben switched from breathing through his nose to through his mouth, a bead of sweat finding its way down his forehead, still not daring to move a muscle. Luther keeps on trying to forcibly silence Klaus, who kept making protesting noises. 

"Shut up!" Luther whispered to Klaus, urgency and fear evident in his voice. 

"You three, get up," A person in a black-and-red striped shirt, Jack, points the gun at Ben's head. Luther stood up.

"Stay sat," Luther whispered to both Ben and Klaus. Luther looked around the warehouse, wondering the steps he'll take to save Ben's and Klaus' arses- along with his own.

"Holy shit, it's the Umbrella Academy kids!"

"Shoot them!" Another person wearing a grey vest, one Ben identifies as LT, started shooting them, Luther ran to hold Klaus' scruff as they hid behind another box, Ben following the two.

"It would be nice to let out the beast now!" Luther exclaimed.

"I can't!" Ben shook his head. "You're within range, I can kill you!"

"Now is NOT the time to play nice," Luther reasoned. "Let the beast out!"

"Not yet!"

"Got you now, stupid schoolboys." LT spat as they move closer, no longer shooting, gun still directed towards the kids. "Stand up, now!"

"Stay sat!" Luther whispered as he stood up, Ben and Klaus following his order as they stay sat on the ground.

"Put the gun down," Luther begged, cursing inwardly. Allison is the public speaker, not him. However she's not here- he is (along with Ben and Klaus, but both Klaus and Ben are shit public speakers). "I'm sure we can come to an agreement that can benefit us both."

"Where are the rest of the Academy freaks?" Nicky glared, both guns pointing at them now.

"It's only us three, I swear," Luther said. "We have no interest in attacking you."

"That's the leader," Jack said to Nicky. "We can use him, get information. I'd love to land a fist at the old man."

"Not until I've had the privilege."

Ben closed his eyes, can Klaus actually shut up for once? This is a life-or-death matter!

"What do you want?!" Nicky shouted, gun still directed at them. "Answer!"

"We don't wish to attack you," Luther answered, putting his hands up in an 'I surrender' manner. "Please, let us go."

"Any minute now, Benerino," Klaus whispered to Ben's ear, both still on the ground behind Luther.

"No," Ben whispered back. "Both Luther and you are in range."

"Let us go. Can we compromise?" Luther begged again.

A bang rang through the room, causing Luther to turn his head to face his siblings in worry. The bullet bounced back from the floor to find its way to the back of Ben's head, causing immense pain to appear and the South Korean boy passes out.

"Ben!" Luther cried out as he ran towards Ben, only to pass out after being shot the exact same way by another worker.

"Take them both away!" The other worker and Jack nod as they try to take away his unconscious body. Klaus widened his eyes, fear evident in his face. Luther is right- he couldn't fight to defend himself now. All he can do is look pathetic and hope Nicky has consciousness enough to spare him. "Take them to the main headquarters!"

"What about the other kid?" LT asked, gesturing at Klaus. "What do we do with him?"

"He alarmed us, let him go."


	2. Chapter 2

Ben wakes up to find his body bound by a glowing blue rope to a post, Luther being tied too in front of him, already awake. Their masks are off, exposing their faces. Shit.

"Luisa and Benjamin Hargreeves," Nicky gave one solid clap, between their fingers is a lit-up cigarette. Luther sighed and closed his eyes, that bitch had to fucking misgender him. When will people stop using transphobia to taunt their opponents?! His mission name is literally Spaceboy and NOT Spacegirl, surely Nicky can figure out that he's a damn BOY?!

"What the hell do you want?!"

"Why were you listening on us?" Luther scoffed. Surely, this apparently useless-and-dumb criminal wannabe can at least know that no heroes actually spill their secrets? 

"For reasons your tiny pea-brain couldn't possibly understand," Luther spat. "Let us go."

"Now now, Luisa, the party is only starting," Nicky lets out a 'ck', placing their still-burning cigarette butt on Luther's hand, causing him to whimper in pain. "What kind of boy whimpers?"

"Hey, Nicky-"

"Shut up-" Nicky quickly sent a glare towards Jack, who quickly shuts his mouth. "Now, where were we?"

"I won't talk to you."

"Weren't you the one who wanted to compromise with us?" Nicky asked, checking out their polished nails. "Such a shame."

"A shame wha-" Nicky gave Luther a hard slap in his face. 

"We know who your leader is, don't worry," Nicky chuckled. "It's Reginald Hargreeves, your 'dad', isn't it?"

Luther made eye contact with Ben, who shook his head very lightly, fear in his eyes. Nicky slapped him again. "Isn't it?!"

"No," Luther lied. "It's someone else."

"Is it Grace Hargreeves, then?" Nicky asked again. "Keeping it in the family, eh?"

"No, it's not-" Luther glared at Nicky. "Maybe if you actually think of something else other than doughnuts, you'd know."

"Getting smart with me, huh?" Nicky snarled and stood up, taking their knife out. They cut Ben's face, who immediately screamed in pain. "WHO?"

"BEN!" Luther yelled, trying to pull himself off the tie that ties him to the pole. Why don't the rope break off?! His powers should've destroyed the rope! "BEN! ARE YOU OK?"

"DON'T!" Ben yelled back, groaning as fresh warm liquid trailed down his cheek. "Don't tell."

"Maybe after THIS-" Nicky stabbed Ben's leg, causing Ben to groan in pain again and Luther to cry out again. "You'll cooperate with me."

"BEN-"

"DON'T," Ben yelled again, causing Nicky to bash his head on the pole.

"What is this rope?" Luther asked, changing the subject. "Is it mining rope?"

"A special rope built by special friends of mine," Nicky lets out a maniacal smile at him. "For so long we've wanted to be your friends-"

"Charming."

"And today, we finally are!" Nicky clasped their hands together. "Finally!"

"Such joy-" Ben rolled his eyes. Nicky hissed at him, why are the Academy kids so damn annoying? Nicky pushed Ben's right hand to rest on his abdomen, still tied to the pole. Ben tried to resist but no avail, stupid power-sucking ropes.

"What's your next plan?" Nicky asked, their knife on Ben's wrist. "What's your next attack?"

"You think I know?" Luther asked. "I'm not the leader, dumbarse."

In one swift move, Nicky ran the knife through Ben's wrist. Ben cried out in pain as Luther yelled, trying to rip off the rope binding him to the pole again. Ben's blood squirts out of him more and more, some blood finding its way to wet Luther's socks.

"I just wanted to be your friend, Luisa-" Nicky pushed Luther's head to lean the wall, even as Luther tried to fight them off. Eventually, Nicky wins. "See your brother there? He's going to bleed out to the point of death. We can give him help, Luisa. Just for the price of answering our questions."

"Luther, don't!"

"I'll tell you!" Luther sobbed. "I'll tell you, just help my brother first!"

"Answers first." Ben leaned back the pole, closing his eyes. Is he going to really die? "Look at him, he's dying. He's losing blood and you can help him. Don't you want that?"

"The leader is Reginald Hargreeves!" Luther exclaimed. "It's me on the field, but he's the mastermind!"

"Good, good." Nicky nods. "What about Grace Hargreeves?"

"She's a robot," Luther answered, his eyes not moving from Ben's weakening body. "Designed to play the role of our mother."

"So pathetic-" Nicky sneered. "What's your next plan?"

"To put a stop to the illegal business," Nicky laughed as Luther said that. "Now, save my brother! Please!

"Nicky, he answered the questions," LT interrupted. "Come on, save the brunet."

"Shut the hell up, Lousy Turd," Nicky hissed. LT didn't say anything more. "How many of you are there?"

"Wh-what?"

"HOW-" Nicky stabbed Ben's body a few times, causing Luther to scream in horror again. The sight of Ben not reacting in pain at all caused the dam to freely break in Luther's eyes. "-MANY ARE YOU?"

"FIVE!" Luther answered quickly. "Five of us."

"Their names," Nicky held up Ben's face again. "NOW!"

"Diego, Allison, and Klaus!" Luther answered, already a sobbing mess. "Save him! Please! Please!"

"I don't think there's anything of him to save," Nicky sneered at Ben's dying body. 

"His pulse-"

"It's still there, alright," Nicky answered. "But very, very, faintly."

"Hurry, then!" Luther yelled again, his voice already cracking from the emotions and the screaming. "Save him!"

"You're such a daft girl."

At this point, Luther is no longer hiding his face as he freely sobbed. He knew there's no chance, but a part of him prays that Ben is still alive. He's still alive.

The door was kicked down and three separate knives embedded themselves in Nicky's, Jack's, and LT's heads, respectively. Nicky fell dead on Luther's lap, their warm blood wetting his trousers. Not that Luther cares, now. 

" _We'll save Ben,_ " Allison said, kneeling in front of Luther, untying his ropes. " _I promise_."

Not that it's possible, now.


	3. Chapter 3

"However, none of you are such people!"

Luther remained stoic, looking down, anywhere but the coffin. Today is Ben's funeral and Reginald, Pogo, Grace, and the five other children are standing on the yard, Ben's coffin laid out in front of them. It's snowing, Luther notes. Ben hates snow and the cold in general. 

Yet again, Ben would hate being dead.

"Despite years of training and weeks of preparation, you allowed Number Six to die on this mission!" Reginald exclaimed. 

"It wasn't our fault!" Allison cried out. 

"Excuses?" Reginald looked down to Allison's face. "I will not hear them. The Umbrella Academy has failed one of their own, the consequences of which are dire. Hold on to this feeling, children. Let it fester in your hearts. So there is never a next time." Reginald ended his eulogy. "Training will be cancelled for today out of respect of your brother. Training will resume tomorrow at 6 AM."

Reginald quickly left, followed by Grace who keeps up her wide robotic smile, followed again by Pogo. Vanya looked up to the group, her eyes full of tears. "It wasn't anybody's fault."

"How would you know, Vanya?" Diego barked out. Oh, how Ben would fucking hate this. "You weren't even there!"

Vanya glared at Diego and left.

"Nice going, arsehole." Luther glared at him, his grip on his black umbrella stronger than ever. 

"What? We're all thinking about it!"

"Oh, so you're thinking, Diego?" Allison shot back as she turned to make her way back into the manor. "That's a first."

"Screw you!"

"Hey!" Luther jumped as he yelled at him. "Dad was right, we should have done more. This didn’t have to happen!"

"You should've done more, Luther!" Diego barked. "He died because of you!"

"He died because of those gun manufacturers!" Luther yelled at him. "Where the hell were you, huh?"

"I couldn't do it all by myself-"

"As if you were even there!" Luther grits his teeth. 

"You're supposed to save him!" Diego shoved Luther. "You're supposed to be Number One! If you keep killing us, maybe I should be Number One. Who's next, Spacegirl?"

"Fuck you!" Luther shoved him, causing him to stumble far back. 

Luther wasted no time as he ran in the manor, running back into his room. He locked the door- and started letting all his rage out. He threw the table beside his bed with such ease, causing the table to break apart and the contents to spill out, some breaking his windows. He threw the bed lamp to the wall, causing the lamp to break with a deafening shrill and a hole to appear in the wall, letting some snow in. 

After watching Klaus piss on Reginald's gas tank and smuggle more brandy, Ben roamed around the house. To his surprise (or lack thereof), the house is a total shithole. Vanya is bawling her eyes out in Five's room, Allison is writing what would be her eulogy in tears, Diego is punching a few targets in the gym, and Luther. Luther's condition breaks his heart the most.

Luther's room is like a total shipwreck. Several things are spread out untidily on the floor with remnants of a bed lamp on, a newly holed wall, smashed windows and a smashed mirror. From the remnants of the mirror, Luther took a pretty big and sharp one. He must've decided to chase him the same way, Ben presumed, as Luther kept running the glass all across his right arm. Yet somehow, all of his works remain forming straight lines like a barcode. 

Ben's eyes widened as he shifted his gaze from all over Luther's room to Luther himself as he whimpers, seemingly trying to push it deeper. As Luther is born with super durability, he needs more power to harm himself like this- and even more to hit his artery to let fresh, thick red blood to spray out of him. But if Ben doesn't intervene, Luther will succeed. Beads of ruby continuously drop down his arm. 

Luther doesn't seem to give a fuck, but Ben does. Ben left the room (one of the advantages of being dead- locked doors don't work on him). Where the hell is Klaus? He's not in his room, he's not in Vanya's still-empty room, he's not in Diego's still-empty room, he's not in any empty rooms, he's not in the living room, he's not in any bathroom. Where the hell is Klaus?

There he is.

Klaus is in the kitchen, enjoying a burnt blunt. Ben knew he doesn't have much time before he stops seeing him and called for him.

"Klaus!" Ben calls. Klaus looks up and he smiled way brighter and more genuine than he ever smiled whilst he's alive.

"Benerino!"

"Luther!" Ben panics. "Luther needs our help!"

"Pfft, that's ridiculous!" Klaus exclaimed. "He's Number One! He doesn't need help from Number Four."

"Luther is trying to kill himself, you idiot!" Ben continued. Klaus' smile vanished. "I was in his completely destroyed room. He cuts himself and he already hits an artery, and he's not stopping himself!"

"Shit-" Klaus sighed. "Do you know where Mum is?"

"Where she usually is, the art gallery."

Klaus stood up and ran to the art gallery, finding Grace who is embroidering a black umbrella and a white number 6.

"Mum!" Klaus called. Grace faced him, her smile quickly returning. "Luther needs help!"

"Why, Klaus?" Grace asked. "Is he in danger?"

"He's trying to kill himself! Save him!" Klaus exclaimed. Grace's facial expression immediately drops. 

Grace wasted no time as she stood up, rushing to Luther's room, Klaus following her from behind. As a robot, she used her full strength to force the door open. There's Luther's body, on the floor, surrounded by scarlet-coloured liquid that could've come from no one else but himself. Grace immediately dropped behind his side and started lifting him, rushing off to the infirmary.

Ben held Luther's hand as the latter is being put down the hospital bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Grace had finished stitching Luther's self-inflicted wounds and requested Allison to give up some of her blood (Vanya is too light, Klaus just drank some brandy, Diego immediately faints after seeing the needle, leaving Allison the only choice). Luther would hate to have his clothes torn off, freely displaying his scars from his most-recent top surgery to Grace and his siblings. 

"I-is he g-gonna be ok-k?" Diego looked up to see Grace, tears glistening his face.

"Of course," Grace nodded. "It's a good thing you told me when you told me, Klaus."

"Why?" Klaus asked, looking up to face Grace, Ben's intangible hand holding Luther's. 

"He hit an artery, any longer and he wouldn't be salvageable," Grace explained. Allison's breath hitched as she placed her hand on Luther's shoulder. "Now, I think it's best that we all leave."

"Mum, I think we should remove all things he can use to harm himself again." Vanya kept her head down, eyes fixated on the sleeping brother. "In case he wakes up alone."

"Good idea, Vanya dear." Grace smiled as she opened the door, pushing away all medical-related things like needles (it's obvious), heart monitor (he can use the cables to hang himself- it's definitely long enough) and bottles of anaesthesia (he can overdose on them), pushing all that to the room beyond. 

"I think we should leave him to rest," Grace said to her children. "Let's go!"

Vanya is the first to leave, followed by Allison and Klaus. Diego stayed behind, touching on his almost-dead brother's shoulder. 

"Y-you could've d-died," Diego sighed. "I-I know I don't always sh-show it, but I l-love you. Y-you're my brother too."

After he's finished with his small message, Diego leaves. Ben sighed, the last time Luther was unconscious on the infirmary bed was for a happy event of his SRS, performed by Grace as always. Ben held Luther's hand, yet Luther didn't stir. Luther most likely didn't even feel Ben's hand on his (oh, and also he didn't stir when Allison rubbed his shoulders or Diego's speech). Ben didn't care, though, and kept rubbing circles. 

"Luther-" Ben looked down Luther's bandaged arm, his own cut scar showing. "You don't have to follow me. I don't want you to follow me- not yet."

But of course, Luther doesn't hear. Ben stood up, his hand leaving Luther's. He walked up to the picture gallery, seeing Grace looking down a picture album. There're pictures of the seven as babies, as children, as young teens, as teens, after Five's disappearance, and after Luther's finished with his SRS. Ben smiled, for a moment in those pictures are they really normal children. 

There's one taken when they're just about 5? 6? It's of all the seven, but it wasn't a formal picture. Reginald was having a business trip for days and left all the children with Grace, taking Pogo. Ben was 'drawing' on the wall with crayons, Klaus was scaring Five with a pair of pants on a stick, Allison was arm-wrestling with pre-transition Vanya, pre-transition Luther was dancing around, wearing a fake tiara and pink dress whilst pre-transition Diego was laughing at him, wearing a periwinkle blue dress. Ben's heart melts as he sees this picture. Underneath was the writing 'Luisa, Dominica, Allison, Klaus, Luis, Vanya. February 17th, 1997'.

Guilt gnawed into Ben as he knew Luther would definitely not appreciate anyone seeing that picture. Though he rarely says, it's obvious that it hurts him when anyone refers to him as a girl or if anyone recalls the moments before his transition began. He says it more when Five is being referred to as a boy, when Klaus is referred to as a boy at the times when Klaus isn't, when Vanya is referred to as a boy, or when Diego is referred to as a girl. Ben doesn't understand, but now he gets it. Ben steps into Klaus' room to see Klaus drinking a bottle of brandy.

"Benerino!" Klaus smiled. "What's up?"

"Can you do me another favour?" Ben asked. "For Luther, Diego, and Five."

"Why is it always about Luther?" Klaus whined, putting the bottle. Ben was about to protest when Klaus held up a finger to shush him. "Yes, technically once, but it's a big favour! And I don't even get a thank you! I was having a drink, Casper!"

"Luther is fucking fighting for his life, you bloody fool!" Ben points out the door. Klaus shrugs. "No drink is more bloody important than a person's life! He tried to save me-"

"But he didn't."

"Stop pointing out what he couldn't do!" Ben shouted. "He didn't really save me- but neither did you!"

"What's the dealio?" Klaus asked. "What do you want me to do this time?"

"Talk to Mum," Ben said. "Get Mum to remove a couple of pictures from the photo album of when we were young-"

"Why?"

"Just the ones that have Luther and Diego in dresses and change Luther's, Five's, and Diego's deadnames," Ben continued like he's never interrupted. "I didn't understand what it feels like to hate your own body and to hate your own fate, but I do now. I hate that I'm dead!"

"So?!" Klaus asked back. "What's that gotta do with our childhood photos?!"

"Some has Luther and Diego in dresses and Luther's, Diego's, and Five's deadnames, remember?" Klaus' eyes widened in realisation. "There's a reason why neither he, Diego, or Five ever voluntarily stepped into the gallery. You're genderfluid, you'd understand!"

"Well, I do understand-" Klaus gestured themself. "But like, that's our childhood pictures. I understand what you're saying, but I don't want to lose the memories of our childhood. We don't get a repeat."

"Klaus-" Ben held their shoulder. "Not all the pictures, just those with Luther and Diego wearing dresses. Get Mum to replace all 'Luisa's with 'Luther's, 'Luis's to 'Five's, and 'Dominica's to 'Diego's. It's not that much."

"Fine."


	5. Chapter 5

Klaus was packing some clothes. That's it, they had enough. They had enough with Reginald locking them in the mausoleum, his disapproving glances, Luther's interruptions and Luther's stupid holier-than-thou behaviour! Yeah, he's Number One, so what? So fucking what? He got Ben killed, at least Klaus didn't kill him!

"Klaus!" Ben called. Klaus grunted as they faced him. "Don't-"

"Don't fucking leave?!" Klaus grunts. "Hell to the no!"

"No, I'm not saying that!" Ben shook his head. "Luther-"

"He fucking killed you!" Klaus banged on the wall, causing Ben to jump. "No- don't you fucking DARE tell me I should nanny him!"

"No, I'm not going to say that!" Ben shook his head. "Take him with you!"

"Why? Why should I do it?" Klaus asked, facing Ben. "Diego didn't, Vanya didn't, and neither did Allison! Why should I help Number One?"

"You don't see him as a person anymore." Klaus scoffed and lightly smirked.

"He barely saw himself as a person." Klaus rolled his eyes. "And that isn't my fault."

"At least say goodbye to him," Ben said, his eyes pleading. "Inform him that you're leaving and not coming back. He deserves to know that bit."

Klaus grunted angrily and sighed. Why does this ghost have to like Luther more, now? Yes, he was there when he died and yes he tried his best to save him, but a key word: tried. He still got him killed, so WHY DOES BEN FORGIVE HIM?! Diego couldn't. Vanya couldn't. If Five knew, they wouldn't. Hell, not even Allison could, so why should Klaus? WHY SHOULD BEN?! 

"I'm doing this just for you." Klaus points at Ben. Ben smiled and nodded as Klaus lifts up their duffel bag, heading to Luther's room. They knocked on it.

"Come in!" Klaus heard a yell from inside the room and Klaus opened the door to see Luther doing one-hand push-ups on the floor.

"Hey, Luther," Klaus starts. "Could you stop for a second? I need to tell you something."

That got the blond's full attention. 

"I'm leaving the Academy for real," Klaus revealed. "I won't be coming back."

"Wh-where will you go?" Luther asked. "Klaus, are you sure? I know Dad isn't the best parent-"

"I'm sure-" Klaus nods. "Don't you try to stop me."

"I won't-" Luther sighed and bit his bottom lip. "Very well. Wait."

Luther stood up and walked to his wardrobe. Klaus furrowed their brows- what is he doing? Luther stepped back, a brown envelope in his hand.

"I gave another of these to Diego, Vanya, and Allison too." Luther turned his back to face Klaus, his hand still holding the brown envelope before handing it to Klaus. "Take it."

"What is it?" Klaus takes a look of the inside, their eyes widening at the sight of a bunch of green papers inside.

"500 dollars, will that be enough for a few nights?" Luther asked. "Please get yourself a motel to get by the first few days or something."

"Where'd you get this?" Klaus asked, looking back-and-forth to Luther and the money. Ben is also confused- doesn't he get out of this house?

"No questions asked, I have my ways-" Luther looked down, biting his bottom lip." I mean, I know it's not much but I think it'll be enough for a few days."

Klaus ran and attacked Luther with a bone-crushing hug. Luther froze before he softened and hugged them back. Ben grinned and joined the hug- knowing full well the two wouldn't even feel it, anyway.

"Thanks, Luther," Klaus whispered and pulled apart. "You're a good guy."

"Take care, Klaus-" Luther nods. Klaus opened the door and grabbed his duffel bag again, hiding the brown envelope in the duffel bag. 

"Klaus?" Grace called, walking down the stairs to them.

"Mum."

"Where are you going?" Grace continued. "I'm just about to make lunch, oatmeal sounds nice, yeah?"

Ben's heart breaks. She sounds so hopeful that he'll stay and eat with them; Ben would, just for now. None of the kids like oatmeal, but Ben speculates that because Reginald never changed the order, Grace doesn't know to cook anything else. Only in very seldom days are they allowed to eat anything else, and that's only if they'd done well on missions.

"I'm leaving, Mum," Klaus revealed to hear. Grace's face immediately fell. "I can't stay here anymore, don't be mad."

"How can I be mad, you're a man now!" Klaus bit his bottom lip. Even though they've done this so many times with her and she never refused, she almost never remembers to ask which pronouns they'd like to go by that day.

"It's they/them day, Mum," Klaus corrected. Grace's smile widened and she kissed her child's forehead. Ben almost cried as he joined in the hug; not that they can realise. 

"Thanks for telling me, dear-" Grace pulled back, rubbing their arm. "I must've forgotten to ask."

"It's ok, Mum-" Klaus nods. Ben waved his hand at Klaus, which caused them to divert their gaze towards him.

"Ask Mum to no longer make oatmeal for Luther," he advised. "And to intervene Dad's harsh punishments on him."

"Mum?" Klaus called. Grace faced them, humming. "Can you not make Luther eat oatmeal again? He doesn't like it."

"For sure I will!" Grace broke into a grin. "Anything else?"

Klaus bit their lip, inhaling deeply. "There is, umm-"

"Go on."

"What are Dad's tortures on him?" Klaus asked. "Can you intervene when they get too bad? I know you're not programmed to defy Dad's will, but please?"

"I'll see what I can do," Grace answered. "Your dad is a good man. A great man. He shapes Luther and all of you to be great people!"

Yeah, so great. Klaus had to fight the urge to roll their eyes. Ben truly rolled his eyes and sighed through his gritted teeth. Will she stop defending him?! HE'S NOT AN ANGEL!

"Will that be all?"

"Yeah. Love you."


	6. Chapter 6

Luther woke up and starts unfastening himself from the sleeping bag. It's been a month since he's been sent off to the moon and its 1st of October, 2015. It's their birthdays, today. Luther drifts away and heads to beside the sink, taking out a bag of soy paste and starts sucking the contents out like bagged drink.

He drifts to his computer, turning it on. He's supposed to work on his report on the moon condition, but he supposed that he can do it in another time. Right now, this day, he wants to celebrate the day he became a brother of seven. Luther sighed, this day would've been more fun if his siblings were here to celebrate this day with him, but they weren't. He doesn't know what's happening to the lives of his siblings. 

Allison is probably singing in that Broadway show (last time he heard about her, she's performing in a Broadway show as some understudy for a sister to the bride of an American founding father), Diego is probably a police officer (they don't talk after he ran away from the manor, but it seemed likely), Vanya is probably the first-chair violinist in an orchestra (he hopes so, she's that obsessed with her violin), and Klaus is probably high off his/their arse in some club, running as the owner (he hopes that he's/they're the leader, Klaus' persuading skill is something not to be taken lightly off).

What is Ben doing, now?

Luther closed his eyes as he remembered that Ben is probably already moving on the next stage. As selfish as it sounds, he wants Ben back to them. Fuck, he truly regrets the day he killed him. Such a soft soul doesn't even deserve to be killed, all because of Luther's selfishness. If he had spilt the secrets much sooner, Nicky wouldn't've slashed his wrist and hit an artery.

Luther can never forget how badly he wanted to join Ben, how Grace had to remove anything sharp from his room and change his window from glass to holed metal blocks to prevent him from breaking the window and use the broken glass to harm himself, how Reginald had to stop sending him to go to missions for six months after Ben's death and how Grace and Pogo had to tie him to bed to stop him from hitting himself. How he kept chanting the words 'I don't deserve to live' and 'I should've died, not Ben' over and over for the first few years. 

Sometimes, he thinks how his place in the Umbrella Academy should be replaced. Luther's the 'leader', he should've prevented Ben's death! Luther's an Umbrella Academy member with the most information on the Umbrella Academy! Nicky had wanted to ask him questions, so why did they have to kill Ben in the process?! Why couldn't he shut his mouth with the sass?! What kind of a team leader killed their teammate?! What kind of brother kills his own brother?! 

Luther can feel his hairy body rubbing against the clothes he's wearing and sighed. This is like gender dysphoria all over again, Luther thinks. But instead of his gender, it's his body. Luther wonders if there's a word to what he's feeling, 'body dysphoria'? Like gender dysphoria but switch the word 'gender' with 'body'? Is this what Ben felt like whenever he lets the beast out?

Ben didn't have control over the beast at all, it does what it wants. That's the reason why Ben didn't want to let the beast out that terrible mission, because Luther and Klaus are within attack range and Ben can risk killing either of them. Not that he cares if he gets killed, it would be a privilege to be killed serving humankind. That's what heroes do, right? They see the bigger picture and be selfless? And to be selfless is to care about the collective good of humanity, not himself?

**"It would be nice to let out the beast now!"**

**"I can't! You're within range, I can kill you!"**

**"Now is NOT the time to play nice. Let the beast out!"**

Luther closed his eyes, trying to shake off the memory from his mind. He can't believe he actually said that, what if Ben really let the beast out and kill Klaus? Klaus shouldn't even be there, he was too unfocused to be spying on murderers. But for some reason, Reginald still forced him to go. Look where it leads, now. Reginald didn't care, he's not the one tortured with the memory of his brother dying every damn day!

**"See your brother there? He's going to bleed out to the point of death."**

Luther felt a prickly feeling from the corner of his eyes and blinked, letting all the unshed tears out. Why didn't he rat out on the Umbrella Academy sooner? He could've prevented Ben's death if he did. Why did he have to stall for as long as he did? Nicky, LT, and Jack ended up dead, anyway! It shouldn't have fucking mattered that Luther rats out on the Umbrella Academy secrets! So why didn't he do it sooner? Why did he have to kill Ben?

Luther drifted out to his tiny plant, giving it water. Luther named the plant 'Ben', it feels right that it's named so. It makes him feel like Ben is really here, accompanying him in this mission. Luther doesn't know why is he sent to the moon just to give daily reports on the moon and the changes, but Reginald insisted that it's because the Apocalypse is coming and the moon would be the cause. But if so, then why is he sent to the moon? Shouldn't he avoid the very thing that'll be the cause of his death?

Luther shook his head as he grabbed a spacesuit and wear the spacesuit on top of his casual suit, opening the latch. It's time to find another example of moon rocks and continue writing his research.


	7. Chapter 7

"You can do this, Klaus. Luther needs you."

Klaus and Ben are both walking on the streets, currently looking for Luther. Ever since he heard that his moon mission was fake, he had taken such an unnecessary account (according to Klaus) to cope, choking them and going off to who-knows-where getting his mutated body intoxicated. Klaus sighed, why should they even save Luther now? Klaus is withdrawing, they're in no state to play the hero right now. They're cold, they're shaking, and they need their drugs.

"I just-" Klaus bend their body and took another deep breath in. Then they look up to see Ben looking at them expectantly. Klaus sighed, when will this man learn that this is pointless and they both should give up trying to save a man who doesn't want to be saved?! "This is pointless. I want to go back, I have to go back. I'll just go back to my drugs."

The moment Klaus turned their back, that very moment also Ben stood up in front of them, as if to stop them from going, aggravation in his eyes. Luther is out there, possibly killing himself, and all Klaus cares is getting high? What the hell is wrong with this person? Klaus scoffs, looking at Ben's behaviour. Surely, he knows they can just walk through him? This guy had been dead for years, he still can't remember?

"You know I can walk through you, right?" Klaus scoffs as they started walking through. 

"I'm well aware."

"Ta-da!" 

"But you have to keep trying," Ben continued. Klaus turned their back to face him, annoyance evident in their face. "He can be who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. You saw him fighting for his life years ago, he could be self-harming and fighting for his life right now! You don't want another ghost of our siblings appearing, do you?"

"You know what? This is probably a good thing." Klaus grinned as they clapped their hands. "The big guy needs to really live and experience everything! There nothing much to do in the moon, anyway."

"He's not ready for it." Ben closed his eyes in annoyance.

"Well, who is? Was I? Were you?" Klaus asked through their gritted teeth. "He killed you, how can you even forgive him and want him saved? You should've been happy that he's dying!"

"He didn't kill me!" Ben insisted. "You know the full story of my death, don't switch up the story to guilt-trip him or any of our siblings to abandon him. Tell him so he stops blaming himself!"

"I'm sorry, I know you're not ready to die so violently at such a young age-" Klaus sniffs, their body still shaking as they're withdrawing. "Sobriety isn't easy."

"Not harder than being dead."

"He isn't my responsibility!" Klaus stood upright again, pointing at Ben. "I didn't sign up to save you or him, the murderer! I helped him a lot in his life, but he doesn't even want my help! I warned Mum about him dying each time, yet he keeps killing himself! Well, let him die!"

"He didn't sign up to watch me die and he didn't kill me, you imbecile!" Ben retorted before he took a deep breath and exhaled. "You're right. You didn't sign up to help him. But if you were in trouble, there's nothing Luther wouldn't do to save your scrawny, little junkie arse."

"Yeah." Klaus sighed. 

"And he did a lot more!" Ben continued. "He gave you $500, he saved your drunken arse, getting himself kidnapped instead!"

"And killing you." Ben sighed in frustration. When will this junkie realise that he didn't kill him?! "He's a murderer! Murderers don't get to receive compassion!"

"HE DIDN'T KILL ME!" Ben yelled. "And FYI, I'm the one who kept giving you heads up on him!" Ben angrily scratched his head. "You should've been happy that you still have five siblings instead of four, now!"

"Yeah, you're right-" Klaus sniffed. "But where haven't we looked?"

"Try the rave," Ben suggested. Klaus' eyes widened as they shook their head vigorously. "Where else would he be?"

"A bar, maybe?!" Klaus exclaimed. "I can't go back to the rave, I can't!"

"Why can't you?" Ben asked, his hands on the pocket of his hoodie. "He could be there and he needs you!"

"He could be elsewhere, too!" Klaus retorts. "He could be in a bar, safe, minding the amount of alcohol he takes."

"Yeah-" Ben scoffs. "So fucking likely."

"I can't go back to the rave, Ben!" Klaus insisted. "I-I'm withdrawing! I need time!"

"We don't have time!" Ben insisted. "Luther is in danger right now and he could be hurting himself right now!"

"Why?" Klaus whines. "Why us? Why can't somebody else do it? Why can't Diego or Allison or Vanya or Five? Five's been gone for most of his life!"

"Because you're the only one who's here right now!" Ben exclaimed. "Yeah, I am too, but you're the only one who's here and still alive! You're the only one who can help him!"

"He doesn't need our help! Spacegirl can save herself!"

"Screw you!" Ben glared at them. "How would you feel to be misgendered just because you're being annoying, huh?! I thought you'd understand as a genderfluid, Boy."

"You just did!" Klaus retorts. "You misgendered me just because I'm not doing what you want! It's they day, jerk!"

"And that hurts, doesn't it?" Ben held Klaus' shoulders. "Don't you do the same thing to Luther-"

"Fine, that arse."

"And tell him the truth!" Ben continued like he's never interrupted. "Tell him the truth! Tell him that he didn't kill me! I'm sick and tired of seeing him blaming himself and you can put a stop to it! Tell him the truth!"

"Fine!" Klaus yelled back. "So where is he now?!"

"I said try the rave!" Ben answered. "Where else? The rave has drugs and deafening music and barely-clothed people everywhere!"

"Fuck you!"


	8. Chapter 8

"Vanya?"

Vanya looked up to see her brother that had been dead for 17 years, now. She immediately looked up.

"Do you remember me?"

"I remember everything," Vanya sobs. "And I'm doing it again, aren't I? What is wrong with me? Why can't I control myself like the rest of you?"

Vanya looked down as she sobbed. Ben couldn't help but crouch down, such a heartbreaking view that he hears her cry like this. It shouldn't be her fault that Reginald alienated her from the rest of them, yet she's blaming herself for her lack of control. She should've blamed Reginald for locking her away, to not teach her how to embrace her powers and have better control, not herself. 

"You can still go back," Ben assured her. "There's still time."

"I killed Pogo," Vanya continued. "I almost killed Allison. I ended the world. I don't deserve to live!"

Ben closed his eyes, her words sound so familiar to his ears. Luther blamed himself for Ben's fate the same way and repeatedly say the exact same words those first few years after he died. Ben has to help her now, he can't let her go down a similar path- or a worse one. No, she shouldn't follow him at all- but she will if he doesn't stop her. Just like Luther would've been if he didn't warn Klaus.

"Dad treated you like a bomb before you ever were one. He was so afraid of your power that he never allowed you to use it." Vanya shifts her head to the side, looking so defeated and so tired. "Drugged you, made you numb for years."

Ben held Vanya's hand and squeezed it, earning a small smile from Vanya. "No wonder you couldn't control it. Dad couldn't control your anger." Vanya looked up to face her brother. "But it doesn't mean you can't."

"And maybe you have a right to be angry, sad, and messed up, but-" Ben bit his bottom lip. "It's a shitty world filled with shitty people sometimes. And right now, our siblings are sacrificing everything to get to you. To help you."

"W-what's happening?" Vanya widened her eyes as specks of bright blue start appearing all over Ben's body. Ben also looked down, confused about his own body reacting this way. He knew what'll happen, though. "Are you hurt? Did I do this?"

"I've been trying to hold off as much as I can, but-" he looked up to face Vanya. "I died 17 years ago, Vanya. All the rest of this, all the years with Klaus-" Ben widened his smile, remembering all the shit he did with his sibling. "It's all been gravy."

Vanya squinted her eyes, her facial expressions basically translates to horror. Ben smiled again, hopefully, it can make her feel better. "At least this time I get to say goodbye. Can I ask you a weird favour?"

"Anything-" Vanya nods vigorously. "Anything."

"Will you hug me as I go?" Ben requested. "It's been so long since-"

Ben didn't need to finish his sentence as Vanya attacked him with a bone-crushing hug. Ben smiled; Vanya's hug really feels so good. It feels so good to be hugged again, to be a man again. 

"Tell something to Klaus and Luther for me, will you?" Ben requested. Vanya nods, still hugging Ben. "Tell Klaus that I was too scared to go to the light, that it's not his fault why I didn't go to the light."

"And for Luther?"

"Tell him that he didn't kill me," Ben advised. "My death is never his fault. I'm really grateful to die beside him."

"Ok-" Vanya nods as she cried on his shoulder. "I promise I'll tell them." Ben smiled again as he felt Vanya's warm tears on his shoulders, he can really feel again. They separated from each other a bit for a moment, nodding, before hugging each other again. Ben intertwined his fingers to hug her tighter as he feels less and less alive each time, before finally, Vanya was just hugging the air.

She woke up on the electric chair, all the wires still on her. The room seemed so quiet, the lights all off, the two CIA agents who are torturing her are dead. As electricity is dead, she can't feel any of the electricity hurting her. Vanya looked around as she tried to untie herself to no avail. Allison, Diego, and Klaus walked closer to her, Allison immediately grabbing Vanya's wheelchair that's also in the room, however unaffected.

"Allison!" Vanya called out. "Help me out!"

"Wait!" Allison signed back, running with her wheelchair. As soon as she gets there, Allison tried to take off Vanya's straps to no avail. Allison tapped on Vanya's shoulders to face her. "Call Diego. Tell him to use his knife here."

"Diego!" Vanya called. Diego faced her, both he and Klaus running to her. "Cut these straps for me!"

"What's the magic word?"

"Please?" Vanya grinned. Diego chuckled and handed a knife to Allison, using another one to cut open the strap closest to him. Diego crouched down and worked on Vanya's foot shackles too (doesn't the CIA agent remember that she's fucking paralysed and wouldn't be able to run off either way?).

"There," Diego revealed as he worked on the last shackle. "Allison, help me!" 

Klaus pushed her wheelchair closer as both Diego and Allison carried Vanya up, getting her back to her wheelchair. Vanya grinned, looking at her three siblings here. It feels so good, being included.

"Oh shit!" Klaus exclaimed, causing the other three to look at him. "The electricity's off."

"So?" Diego shook his head, still confused. So what if the electricity's dead, it's day so there's still sunlight! They can all see!

"So the lift won't work!" Klaus continued. "How will we bring her down?"

"You can at least lift your arse, right?" Diego asked. Vanya nodded. "Right. Allison and I will carry her down, you bring down the wheelchair. Vanya, brace yourself."


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey Klaus, can you go get Luther?"

It's been a month after the six Hargreeves children return from the 1960s. Allison sighed on her seat, it's her fault that he's gone. Last night, she told him that she rumoured him to love her as lovers do. Though her siblings still talk to her, they still make sure Allison doesn't get the chance to be with just Luther. 

Klaus nodded, standing up from his seat. Where should he start looking? Klaus opened Luther's room door, not there. Klaus opened Diego's room, it's empty. Klaus was about to head for Five's room just to see Five rushing around, followed by their puppy named Mr Pennycrumb (Klaus always grinned remembering the name). Five grew up to a thirty-year-old person after their encounter with past them, and Allison suggested that they get a puppy to obsess over something else other than the apocalypses.

"Klaus!" Five called. "Have you seen Luther?"

"I was just about to ask the same thing!" Klaus exclaimed.

"I don't think he's exactly in a safe place right now," Five said, rubbing their fingers together. "Just before I took Mr Pennycrumb on a walk, I heard him mutter 'just a few more'," Five recalled. "I know it can mean many things, but I don't think he's in a good place lately. I mean, the windows in his room wouldn't be metal if he is."

"Do you know what happened after Ben's death?" Klaus asked. "What happened to Luther?"

"I mean, it was written in Vanya's book that he took his death the worst-" Five shrugged. "Is it really that bad that he had to be forbidden from coming to missions?"

"Not only that, Mum also had to replace his glass windows with holed metal ones to prevent him breaking them and using the remnants to cut himself and Mum had to watch over him like a hawk for so long!" Klaus exclaimed. Five nodded, pressing their lips together. 

"Have you searched for him in Vanya's room?" Klaus asked. "Ben's room, perhaps?"

"I've searched, along with 37 other empty rooms, the gym, the bathrooms, and Dad's study," Five confirmed. "He's not there."

"Try the roof?" Klaus suggests. Five opened their mouth to say something, but Klaus beats them to it. "I wouldn't skip that now." Five closed it again and nods.

Both Klaus and Five headed up to the ceiling. Klaus opened the latch and let down the ladder, letting Five climbs up first before him, both already in the attic. Five ran up the end and opened the door. Just right, a few metres from them both stands the biggest man there is, somehow looking more interested in the lack of roof in front of him than the existence of more footing behind him. 

"Luther," Five slowly called, not wanting to startle him. Both of them can hear a small grunt from Luther. "Let's go back. Step down."

"No-" Luther shook his head, making no movement to allow him to have more footing. Klaus wanted to run up to him, but Five stops him from going further. 

"Luther, please," Five begged. "I need you to step down the ledge."

"You don't need me!" Luther exclaimed. Five's heart breaks, hearing his voice cracking like that. It made him sound so distraught and tired (maybe he is). "None of you need me! It's better that I don't exist."

"No, it's not!"

"I killed Ben!" Luther sobbed. "What kind of a team leader kill their teammate, what kind of brother kills their own brother?!"

"You didn't kill Ben!" Klaus corrected him. Luther frowned, what does he mean? "I asked Ben how he died when we were 18, and Ben answered. Some gun manufacturers killed Ben, not you!"

"That's what-"

"Later," Klaus cuts Five. "You need to go home, Luther. We need you."

"Ben didn't blame me?" Luther asked. Klaus gave a small smile as Luther turned around to face him, the small smile disappearing the moment he saw Luther doesn't actually back down. No, he only turned around. 

"Not at all-" Klaus shook his head. "He told me the story. He was very grateful that you were there, that you tried to save him. He hates seeing you on your lowest, how it broke his heart when you tried to chase him all those years ago. Ben regretted that you had to watch him die, but he didn't blame you and he was grateful that you were there."

"Y-you knew?" Luther asked. Klaus felt a prickly feeling on the edge of his eyes, hearing how broken Luther sounds. "What-why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was a petty bastard, that's why," Klaus answered before he sighed, hugely disappointed in himself. Klaus pinched the bridge of his nose, Five looked up, a curious glint in their eyes. "Ben insisted that I tell you the truth, that he didn't blame you at all. But I was a petty bastard, I hate that you acted like our leader that when he died and you were in your lowest state, I saw it as an opportunity to torture you even more and didn't tell you, but I saved you the most out of Ben's pleas. It was never your fault and I'm very sorry for making you think so."

"That is so fucked up, Klaus!"

"Not now, Five!" Klaus said to Five. Luther pressed his lips together. "So will you step down? Please? You can ask me all about what Ben felt, I swear I'll answer all of them truthfully now."

"I don't deserve to live-" and Luther lets himself fall back to the empty space. In a flash of blue light, Five jumped to hug Luther and jumped again to inside the Academy after making sure they were really hugging Luther, right in front of the sofa.

"Luther, you-" Five hits his chest lightly, fear evident in their face. "Don't die. I can't stand watching you die a third time."

Luther didn't speak. 


	10. THEORIES THAT INFILTRATE THIS FIC

A lot of what happened here is infiltrated with my own theories regarding the Umbrella Academy. I haven't read the comics but I use several facts from the comics here. I posted the links to the theories in my Tumblr (my Tumblr URL is unsolicited-nightmares) here are the theories I used:

[How Ben Died](https://unsolicited-nightmares.tumblr.com/post/626633694962221056/s2-spoilers-this-is-probably-too-fast-from-my)

[Proof of 'How Ben Died' Theory](https://unsolicited-nightmares.tumblr.com/post/628799595575689216/i-have-proof)

.

[UA Kids Would-Be Nationalities](https://unsolicited-nightmares.tumblr.com/post/627244234673700864/s2-spolers-yall-wtf)

.

[Gender and Sexuality Head(canons) of Hargreeves Siblings](https://unsolicited-nightmares.tumblr.com/post/630790067201441792/my-headcanons-on-the-hargreeves-siblings-gender)

.

[Luther and Five are Twins](https://unsolicited-nightmares.tumblr.com/post/629487317323759616/yall-this-so-sweet)

[Proof of 'Luther and Five are Twins' Theory](https://unsolicited-nightmares.tumblr.com/post/632497810397413376/yall-so-i-was-reading-the-umbrella-academy-s1-ep1)

.

[Disabled!Hargreeves Siblings](https://unsolicited-nightmares.tumblr.com/post/628564088626331648/oh-hell-wtf)

As for Luther's and Five's deadnames, as Luther and Five are likely German and both are twins, I chose Luisa and Luis, following the 'twins have similar names' thing.

.

In the comics, Allison rumoured Luther to kiss her to cope with her divorce. I twisted this fact to make it more show-compliant by writing Allison rumoured Luther to love her at 15 and the rumour is never broken. I changed it so Allison's rumours can only be broken when Allison tells the truth to the person she rumoured. I love Allison to bits but since this is written from mostly Luther's or Ben's perspective...


End file.
